When I wrote about The Amityville Horror at the beginning of this month, I noted that every October I try to watch every film in some horror franchise. That wasn’t 100% true. I do try to complete an entire horror franchise, but I don’t usually watch all the films within the month. What I mean is, I try to watch all of the films I haven’t seen within a certain franchise. I don’t always watch the ones I’ve already seen.
I also don’t write about them all. With The Conjuring films, I decided to watch and review them all. Even though there are only four films in this series (well, there are technically nine films within the Conjuring universe, but I decided to just concentrate on the main films), I already understand why trying to review them all was a mistake. Like all horror franchises, there is a definite diminishing of returns with each sequel.
Last Rites purports to be the final film starring Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga), and it definitely feels like it’s time to put them to bed.
In all of my reviews, I’ve talked about the real-life Warrens. I’ve called them charlatans. And they were. They made up stories about hauntings and possessions and presented them as truth. It is unclear if the families supposedly investigated by the Warrens were in on the scam or not. It seems likely that many of them truly thought they were being haunted, and the Warrens took advantage of that, wrote a book about it, and cashed the checks. But there were also allegations of sexual misconduct and abuse.
The Warrens were not good people. While watching the first movie in this series, you can kind of overlook that. There is a sort of tacit agreement that you are watching a movie. It isn’t real. It has ghosts, after all. It helps that it is a very good movie.
But each subsequent film works on beautifying the Warrens. It portrays them as loving, kind Christians out to help these poor people beset by demons out of the kindness of their hearts and at great personal peril. That makes the films more and more difficult to take. It is harder to separate who they really were and how they are portrayed on screen. Also, the filmmaking gets increasingly worse.
Last Rites begins with the Warrens’ first case. They are faced with, um, a haunted mirror. Yeah, these films deal in haunted objects; they make a big deal out of the Warrens’ museum of the occult. They made a whole film series out of a haunted doll. But at least that thing looks scary (the real Annabell looks like a Raggedy Anne doll, which is just hilarious). A mirror is, well, it’s just a mirror.
Anyway, the demon mirror forces a very pregnant Loraine into labor. Their baby comes out stillborn, but a little fervent prayer brings her to life. Flash forward a couple of decades, and the Warrens are taking a break from ghost busting due to Ed’s bad ticker. That daughter, Judy (Mia Tomlinson), is all grown up and engaged to Tony (Ben Hardy).
Meanwhile, the Smurl family has somehow wound up with that demon mirror, and it’s causing all sorts of horror in their household. Naturally, the Warrens get drawn into the case. This time, they bring their daughter and her fiancé. That brings an extra layer of family into the mix.
James Wan directed the first two Conjuring films, and he has a kinetic energy that makes the scares truly terrifying and an adept ability to make the character stuff work. This film is directed by Michael Chaves, and he’s not nearly as good.
The script does him no favors. It relies far too heavily on the relationship between the Warrens and, as I’ve already stated, I can no longer separate what I know about the real family and this fictional one. The stuff with the Smurl family isn’t all that interesting or scary. A mirror just isn’t intrinsically frightening (although they did a pretty good job of making one scary in Oculus). There is also a really fake-looking ghost with an axe and an old lady ghost with some terrible makeup.
The film does a lot of that thing where a horror movie will set up a scene like it’s preparing you for a jump scare, and then it will be something mundane, only to really throw the scare at you a moment later. That sort of thing has become tedious on its best days, and here you get it far too many times.
With a runtime of 2 hours and 15 minutes, it is entirely too long. This is mostly due to this being the last film and them needing to wrap some things up for the Warrens. I was ready to turn the thing off way before then and say goodbye to the whole franchise.




